Thursday, June 25, 2009


Here's an update on what I've done with my life--or what my life has done with me.

So anyway, here's my story.

I am a daughter of two Mormons from California who met up at BYU, Provo, Utah.

My father date-raped my mother. She told her parents and they forced her to marry him, because they'd had sexual relations.

My parents had three other children together--an older brother & sister, and a younger brother.
My sister and I are about a year and a half apart, so we behaved pretty much like twins.

It was a tumultuous childhood. As an adult, I've been diagnosed a child of an alcoholic, although I never saw my father drink.

My dad beat my mom. Whenever he felt less of a man. He would beat her for knowing things he didn't know. He would beat her for being depressed. He would beat her to show us who was boss.

My dad is also a pedophile. He's in prison now.--at the point of the mountain. I won't go into detail on that subject. The word pedophile should make you sick enough.

My parents divorced when I was 13. My dad took his second wife. She had a bratty little son and an adorable baby girl.

I fell instantly in love with the baby. She was so beautiful with olive skin and curly brown hair.
She was my baby from the moment I set eyes on her. I begged her mother not to marry my dad, for fear of what might happen to little Ashley. They married anyway. She told me that he'd repented and that he was no longer a pedophile.

She is now 21 years old. She's still my baby. My dad ended up having two more children with his second wife. They were and always will be my babies too.

My earliest memory is sitting on my dad's lap in what I now know was Priesthood Meeting in church. I remember looking at his shoe.

My first friend was Peter. We were about 4 or 5. Peter's hands shook and he peed his pants a lot. We lived in West Jordan, Utah.

My dad was an entrepreneur. So, we would have extreme ups and downs. Sometimes we were wealthy. Sometimes we were homeless.

We moved from a beautiful house when I was about 5 into a mobile home in a trailer park.
That is where I met Tammy. Tammy and I were like two peas in a pod. We did everything together. We even ventured under her trailer home while it was jacked up for repair.

We were still under there when they let the home down. On top of us. Well, we were on our way out. So my leg was caught under there and her chest was compressed. It was a scary thing to look back and see my friend all blue and scary.

They dug us out with shovels and we both ended up okay. It really was a miracle. There happened to be a bend piece of the metal foundation right where we were. If we'd been trying to get at any other point, it would have surely cut us.

Wow. Wierd Day today MJ Dies

It's strange to think that today will go down in history as the day Michael Jackson died. I hadn't really thought about what it would be like when he died. It wasn't something that would come up in my mind.

Now that he's dead, I feel that there is a strange void in the universe. He represented that part of ourselves that are sensitive, naive and confused.

Poor Michael Jackson was so lonely. He never did get to live a healthy childhood, although he struggled to recreate one.

He was gifted in ways that no other human has compared. We will always refer to his Moonwalk and theatrical Thriller as historical pop icons of the 20th Century.