Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fat Buddha

A sagely Zen monk appeared in China around 850 A.D. and died in 916A.D. He said his name was "Knowing This" (ChiChe). No one knew where he came from, he carried a big fat bag and was famous for his fat belly. When asked how to obtain nirvana he would lay down the bag and not said a word. When asked about what happened after reaching nirvana. he would pick up the bag and walk away, still not a word.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I lost a "thumb"!?

After dealing with the random "labor pains" of gallbladder disease over the past 9 months, I would like to announce that I finally had a... gallbladder!


After enduring what felt like labor pains on Sunday and Monday morning, I took a cab to the ER and was given morphine. Whew! But it didn't cut it. Still painful. So they gave me a synthetic version of morphine that they said was like morphine x7. Finally the pain went down to about a 2.

It was decided that there was a significant amount of infection that the gallbladder needed to be out last night. So they gave me more lovely drugs until the surgeon was ready (about 3-4 hours later, I think).

Heading into the ER, I complained about a major caffeine withdrawal headache. Since they hadn't allowed even a sip of water, let alone a cup of coffee, my body was protesting. The craziest thing is that the anesthesiologist ordered a little vial of caffeine, which he put into my IV. Dude, can I get some more of those for when I go back to work?

When in the OR, I asked how much weight loss would result in the removal. He said I would lose about the weight equivalent to the tip of my thumb. Dang! What a gyp!

So that was one of my last memories before waking up in the recovery room. The first thing I heard was the nurse telling me, "It looks like your body was really sick. There was quite an infection." The guy next to me sounded how I felt. We both kept moaning through our oxygen masks about pain and "not feeling so good." It was actually nice having a comrade in that part of the adventure.

I said, "I can't stop thinking about my boys." I just wanted to hear their voices and see their faces.

The next thing I remember was waking up in another room. Terry came in a short time later. I was so happy to see him. I told him that I wanted the boys and he helped me call them on the phone. Ozzy was the talker and asked where I was and so on. I don't remember what we talked about but I was so happy to hear both of their voices.

The doctor informed Terry that there were a few complications. When they clamped the tubes off and cut, there were gall stones where there shouldn't have been. So there is a possibility that there are gallstones still in there after the surgery. They will have to do an ultrasound later this week to see if they need to do another surgery.

So it turns out that I had to have the drainage thing. I'm not sure what it's called but the doctor called it a grenade. It drains gucky stuff out of my innards into an ugly little bulb thing. I also kept setting off the oxygen machine alarm. So they sent me home with an oxygen tube hooked up to my nose. Then, they had home health come hook up a big machine in my house. So I'm tethered to that thing right now and at least until Thursday.

Terry has been my hero in all of this. He is an amazing man with many gifts. One gift is the ability to care for others. I know that God sent him to me. On a daily basis, I thank God for my Terry. But after this episode of great need, I am so in awe of God's generosity.

I'm currently on clear liquids until I can ... ahem phart (which is a cooler version of fart).

So anyway, jello is my friend. Chicken broth is my friend. Maybe just that factor alone will result in losing the weight equivalent of a "middle finger"??

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

High Five! New York

Five things I learned while in New York this past week.

1. Coffee creamer is a commodity in NY. I had a couple of black coffee days.

2. New Yorkers must like to look at themselves in the mirror while going potty. Every time I used the commode, there was a mirror. What's up with that?

3. New Yorkers are NOT rude-- especially the shop-keepers. When I was sweating hot standing outside one souvenir shop, the shop owner demanded that I come in and sit on his stool. He then went to the back of his store and brought out a fan and sat it right next to me and turned it on full-blast! That is not the stereotypical "Rude New York" I was warned about.

4. Alone time is rare. I think you take for granted your personal space until you've been in a city like New York for a few days.

5. I (heart) Utah! I love the weather here! I love the personal space! I love the grass and trees and most of all... the mountains! Mwah!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


testing... testing.. 123... (tap, tap, tap) Is this thing on?

The Wierdest Thing...

So I am doing a data entry job entering all kinds of cuisines into an online ordering system. Today, I came across an item named, "Baba." I had no idea what it meant so I googled it. I found that it's actually short for "Baba Ganoush." Then, later, as a daily ruitine while I'm waiting for my bus, I browse Google's list of Hot Search Trends for the day. To my surprise, "Baba Ganoush" is the 16th most searched term for the day. I don't get it. Why would that many people need to search that same term on the one day when I happened to search such an unusual term? I'm confused.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Ozzy Show - Mini Opera

The boys were recently given the opportunity to attend the Mini Opera at Abravanel Hall. Ozzy made an episode of the "Ozzy Show" featuring the cool "petting zoo" they had before the opera began.